Could it be?
I tried a few times today to write something, but I kept getting distracted. And when I did write something, it made no sense, so I deleted before publishing. It was a pretty busy day, but a good one all in all. (Funny, the best days are the ones when I don't have to deal with the crazy... do I detect a theme emerging?)

I rode the train home with Yvonne today. She's a girl that I work with, and we've become good friends. She's just as much of a nerd as I am, so we get along. ;) We talked about how her cable was out in her apartment last night, and how she couldn't deal without having internet access or TV. I come home to find that MY cable is, in fact, out. Whatever, I don't freak or anything. I call the cable company to learn that they're gonna have to send someone to come to my apartment to fix the cable. And that they can't send anyone until NEXT TUESDAY! (Um... excuse me?!) Yes, I did say NEXT TUESDAY! BUT... I they have no late appointments, so I have to wait until NEXT (as in not this, but next) SATURDAY for a cable person to be able to come while I'm not at work. This is SUCH a royal pain in my ass.

Oh well, I guess I'll get a lot of reading and knitting done.

So I get this weird feeling today that I'm being left out. That's one of my big fears, that everyone else is doing something fun, and I haven't been invited. I think that is why I have this overwhelming need to include as many people as possible when I'm planning something. I'm the self-proclaimed Queen of The-More-The-Merrier. And I don't know... I don't like feeling left-out... and I don't like for others to feel left out either. It's a pretty crappy feeling. Unwanted... unloved... unliked. And I know that I'm loved, liked, wanted... But for some reason, I can't shake it. And maybe I don't even want to be included in the festivities that others haven't included me in that I've conjured in my head. And maybe I wouldn't even partake... but still, an opportunity to accept or decline on my own accord would be nice. (God, could I be any more paranoid?!? People do things... they go out... and they don't invite you... get OVER yourself!) Either way... I don't like feeling like this.


(NOTE -- My cable modem is out as well... but thankfully one of my neighbors doesn't have a password protected network, and I'm borrowing their bandwidth until I get mine back). ;)