Shake your tambourine
"You blow my head open. Of one thing I'm sure...
I do my best for you I do"
Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Morning thoughts...
I'm walking to the subway this morning and I see a little boy waiting for his ride to come. He's holding a shoebox... a diorama. It was so cute, and made me think of the diorama that I made for a book report on Charlotte's Web when I was in elementary school. ;) I made a little pink pig out of playdough and a little spider spinning a web out of thread. So cute. I think I got a 100%. I was so proud.

Dinner last night with Erin was awesome! Spending time with her is such a great recharge. ;) It makes me sad that we don't get together that much, but hopefully when work calms down, that will change.

I did finally have my meeting with the head of our group. I basically learned that with our group's reorganization, I'm going to be placed (again) with the crazy-lady*... but I'm going to have my own population to manage. That's good, I guess... I'm doing my best not to count things out before I even try them. I didn't get a very good vibe from her, though. Was she trying to manage my expectations that my salary increase and bonus are going to suck? Maybe... I don't know. I'm not optimistic, though... and that's going to be a MAJOR derailer. I can tell you that much.

I really can't spend too much time thinking about it, even though I can't get it out of my head. My eyes welled up with tears on the train this morning, and I could barely focus on my game of Bejeweled. (I'm sorry... even I'm laughing at that comment)... But seriously, I've got to figure out a way to cope... I've got to. The hard part is coming to grips with the idea that I might not fit in here. That this job might not be the right one for me. And that I might not be suited for this environment. That sucks... 'cause I don't like to think of myself as a failure. (I could tell, though, that the head of our group doesn't think that I'm doing a good job... she doesn't hide her feelings very well).

Miserable... just miserable.

* My crazy co-worker is nuts... but she is a very nice woman. When we talk about non-work-related things, she's totally cool. She's just a little difficult to work with. When I get her focused... we're totally cool and I learn a lot. It's just one of the most difficult work-environments that I've ever had.


An Angel Flying
something food related

Feelin' Creative...

ljc fyi
pink is the new blog
not martha


New Moon
Stephanie Meyer

Will revisit:
The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, & Broke
by Suze Orman
Invisible Man
by Ralph Ellison
Catch 22
by Joseph Heller


by Stephanie Meyer
Best 'Tween Book EVER!
Little Earthquakes
by Jennifer Weiner
Loved it!
Harry Potter 6
by J.K. Rowling
Can't wait for Book 7!
Diary of a Mad Bride
by Laura Wolf
This one made me feel normal
by Jeffrey Eugenides
Motorcycle Diaries
by Ernesto Che Guevara
Just OK... not amazing
Fan Man
by William Kotzwinkle
The Life of Pi
by Yann Martel


A Prayer for Owen Meany
by John Irving
The Photograph
by Penelope Lively


Eric Hutchinson
American Hi-Fi
Carbon Leaf
Damien Rice
The Shins
Sarah Mclachlan

Where's Dashboard Confessional?


Other Stuff...

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